“It doesn’t feel right to us that we can get married, but our gay friends can’t.” So said a groom who contacted the Empire State Pride Agenda last year as he and his fiancé were planning their wedding. He was calling us because the couple wanted to incorporate something into their celebration that would recognize what they saw as an injustice and could help bring New York closer to the day when there would be marriage equality for all loving, committed couples in the state. We have also received requests from same-sex couples looking to incorporate a social justice element into their commitment ceremony or wedding.

To those couples and the others like them across New York, we say congratulations on your wedding and THANK YOU for standing on the side of justice and love. The Pride Agenda has put together a list of ideas and tools that you can use to assist you in raising awareness and money on your big day for this important cause: 

• Ceremony & Reception  Include language in a toast, prayer or announcement at your reception, or even in your vows, expressing your regret that same-sex couples cannot share in the joy of being legally married, and/or your hope that all loving, committed couples, including same-sex couples, will someday soon be able to get married in New York State. This can be done at anniversary celebrations as well.

• Gifts Ideas  As a wedding favor, make a donation in the names of your guests to an organization like the Empire State Pride Agenda working to achieve marriage equality, and let them know that you are doing so.  Click here to make an online donation. Or you could ask guests to make a donation in lieu of or as part of their wedding gift to you. Click here for sample text to put in your invitation making that request of your guests.

• Literature  Have a table with literature on marriage equality at your reception, or leave handouts on the tables of your guests. Click here for a ready-to-print sheet of the frequently asked questions about marriage and same-sex couples. could also download a copy of our report “1,324 Reasons for Marriage Equality in New York State” outlining all the rights and responsibilities that come with marriage in New York, that you can leave out for your guests to peruse.

• Advocacy  Provide your guests with a way to voice their support of marriage equality to their elected officials. Click here for a letter that you can copy and give to guests in your invitations, in another wedding-related mailing, on their tables or on a centralized literature table at your reception.

• Announcements  Send a Letter to the Editor of your local paper talking about how your upcoming wedding would be that much more joyous if you knew that every loving, committed couple in New York State, including same-sex couples, had the same opportunity to get married. Or you can try to include a one-sentence statement in your engagement or wedding announcement to be published in the paper, saying something like, "The couple looks forward to the day when all couples, including same-sex couples, have the ability to share in marriage."

• Sign up to be a Marriage Ambassador!  Attend a day-long training and become a “super volunteer” to help mobilize marriage supporters where you live. Marriage Ambassador trainings empower people to organize local events in your community and talk to local legislators. Over 200 Marriage Ambassadors have been trained so far as we are planning more trainings across the state this year. It would be a great activity you could do as newlyweds!  Email us to express your interest in becoming a marriage ambassador.